How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
