So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
