found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
