actually, I'm a sock model
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
