Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
