Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
