You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
