So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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