Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
