Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
