Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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