there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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