I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
ttyl tear gas
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
