An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize