i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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