I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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