yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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