I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just gargled with NyQuil
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
