operation have a gay friend backfired
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
