garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
