omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky š
Randomize
