420 ftw
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
