im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
