you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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