I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
