i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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