oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize