I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
