just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize
