She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
