my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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