standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
