just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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