i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
