i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
