I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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