I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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