I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
