Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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