:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
