oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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