So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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