HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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