come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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