So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
