If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
