left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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