Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
