why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
