I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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