i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
