I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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