U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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