So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize