So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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