none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Randomize
